Fall 2013 Roommate Quote Book

One of the greatest blessings of this past semester has been this woman right here:
My roommate, Bri, is one of the best people on this planet. She's compassionate, listens to me when I need someone to talk to, and brings the spunk to our roommate relationship. I've so loved growing closer to her this last semester. She says some darn funny things, too, which I've written down to blackmail her with. Or, at the very least, add to my toast at her wedding. There were too many to wait until the end of the year to post them, and so, without further ado, I present to you the Fall 2013 Roommate Quote Book (with some commentary from other awesome members of our community):

Bri: You know what I need? I need practice wearing a corset. Just “huaugh” and that’s it. I’m going to go order one. I just need to learn how to breathe properly. Or improperly; whatever it is.

Bri: And don’t try to undress me, because that’s not cool.

Mac: I’ve had so much Emergen-C today, I think I’ve had about 300% of my daily value of Vitamin C
Bri: You know what, it’s okay. You need it. If you OD on stuff to help you not get sick, that’s acceptable.

Mac: You made all this hullabaloo and now-
Bri: Hullabaloo? Did you really just say hullabaloo? 

Mac: You can always scrutinize the inside of your soup can to see if it rusted. 

Mac: When I heard you had a grandpa on one side alive and a grandma on the other, my head started matchmaking. Oh! Maybe they’ll meet at your wedding!
Bri: They met at my parents’ wedding!



Mac: See that yellow bit? That’s where two percent of the population of Australia lives!
Bri: Two percent? TWO PERCENT? What, is that place like infested with alligators or something?

Bri: I’m gonna have to talk to your mom.
Mac: About what?
Bri: Mail order husbands.

Bri (while sleeping): I know. I’m gonna get beat up... Watch out for my cast!

Bri: I think I’m teething.

Bri (In reference to speed friending): Mackenzie, I feel like those are your Cinderella slippers... Like you’re gonna meet your man tonight. I want to be your pumpkin carriage. That’s all I want to be.... Well, actually anything but Gus.

Bri: If you don’t look like Ron Weasley, you ain’t a redhead!

Bri: I like how when we go up to our room, we leave our other friends by themselves and we go off together.
Mac: So are you saying we’re the married couple of the group?!
Bri: No, no. We’re like a cult.

Bri: You know what, I’ll start the Sentsy now.
Mac: YAY! It smells like heaven on earth!

Bri: Do you ever wish that you would get stranded on an island with all of our friends that we just love?

Bri: Mackenzie, did you hear that?!?! Wait, quickly pray to God right now. DO IT. Oh, sweet baby Jesus, God does love me!

Mac: What kind of tea is it?
Bri: I don’t know. It starts with a T.

Bri (While sleeping): What? This is not normal.
No, no, don’t do it. I have to find shelter!

Bri (While sleeping): Watch me rise and shine, early bird! 

Bri: Why would you let me stay up this late?!
Mac: Because I am just your roommate, not your keeper.... Or your mother.

Mac: Well, my only other roommates were my brothers when I was little. They were always leaving Leggos on the floor. Thank you for not leaving Leggos on the floor. 

Mac: Sometimes I wish stalking was a major. I’d be so good at it!


Mac: Is it true that guys often start crushing on a girl because of her hair?
Matt: Umm, yeah.
Mac: I never do anything to my hair! Shucks! I’m going to have to find a man who likes me for my personality!

Mac: You worry me sometimes.
Bri: It’s okay. Everyone needs a fun friend like me.
Mac: Who’s your fun friend?
Bri: Me. 

Bri: Guys, I have a confession. I skipped my first period class today.
Robert: You still have periods?

Bri: Do you think pepper spray works on vampires?
Mac: Uh, nooo.
Bri: Garlic spray?

Bri: You look like a gangster in that outfit; like you’re ready to throw down.
Mac: Word up, foo.
Bri: Okay. Just don’t open your mouth. 

Bri: Is it just me that isn’t ready to grow up and just want all our friends to move into a mansion together?

Bri: I just want a fox to breed with a Pomeranian. That would be the cutest thing ever. 

Bri: I’m glad I got a medium shirt. Sometimes the sleeves are too tight around my rippling biceps.

Bri: Are you trying to get me sick before Fall Faith? ARE YOU INTENTIONALLY TRYING TO SABOTAGE MY RELATIONSHIP WITH JESUS?!?!?!

Bri: Mackenzie, are you still awake?
Mackenzie: Mmmph.
Bri: I just have a quick question. You know when drug dealers exchange money? Where do they get the briefcases from? Those are nice briefcases! Do they go out and buy them for the occassion, or do they just have them lying around, like binders? Do you think the DEA would do a better job if they could track who they sold briefcases to?

Stephanie: Did you know that every time the ovaries release an egg, they leave behind scar tissue? So I’m going to tell my daughters that as they get older, not only do their hearts get hard, but so do their ovaries.
Mac: I’m really glad we can’t get married, because I don’t want you to tell that to my children.

Bri: Come with me to the bathroom. I know you need to pee. Come.

Bri: I hope God gives you senioritis real bad, Mackenzie. We should pray on it.

Bri: Mackenzie, my neck hurts. Why couldn’t you be like a masseuse major?

Mackenzie: I have to go to the bathroom again. Gosh I hate peeing all the time.

Bri: Do you wanna build a snowman?


Thanks for the great semester, Bri- and here's to many more fun times come January! I love you!

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