Mackenzie Standing

Let me be the first to admit it: I mess up. A lot. Sometimes it's an easy mistake-I forgot my keys in my room, I took longer to finish a project than I told someone I would, I used all my football terminology incorrectly when (foolishly) attempting to discuss the last game. Other times, however, my mistakes have weightier consequences. Sometimes I don't love the people in my life the way I love myself. Sometimes I don't love God the way I know I should. It's easy in these moments to beat myself up and wonder how in the world God could ever use me. This, my friends, is why I love the disciples. I don't know if there was ever such a band of merry misfits created. There's Matthew, a tax collector. If you think we don't like the tax guy now (case in point: Veggie Tales' Christmas Song ), that was nothing compared to when Matthew was one. Peter, Andrew, James and John were fishermen-not exactly the most prestigious of careers. They were all just normal guys

Lately I've been dwelling a lot on this whole idea of faith. Just what does that word mean? Martin Luther King Jr. once said, "Faith is taking the first step, even when you don't see the whole staircase." Today I'm finding that both encouraging and daunting. I like to know where I am. I like to know what I'm doing. I like seeing the staircase. And yet, what King implies here is the fact that faith is not based on what you can see; but instead on trust. I've been finding lately that I don't trust much; my feet stay planted on the ground far more often than I like. Jesus talks about faith in a different matter. He likes to compare it to mustard seeds. In Matthew 17:20 it says, "Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you." In Mark 4:30-32, it says, "Again he said, 'What shall we say the kingdom of

New Year's Eve: A time of reflection and consequent goal setting. January 2nd: The day I officially give up on all of those goals because I've already failed to complete them. Just kidding. In all seriousness, though, I, like everyone else, tend to get reflective this time of year-almost doubly so between my birthday and the 31st. 2012 has been a year of major change in my life, some expected and some most definitely not. I feel like God's been molding my heart in necessary ways that I nevertheless never anticipated. It's been good. And so, without further ado, I present to you "2012 in Review." THE LESSONS: I know how to grieve now-and comfort those who do. Our family dynamics changed in dramatic ways over the past year. I would never, ever, ever pretend that I'm glad circumstances were what they were. I would never, ever pretend that I didn't absolutely hate learning it. I also won't pretend, however, that I don't value the lesson. I