The Year of Engaged Leadership

MSU has deemed this year "The Year of Engaged Leadership." On the website, this is described as a year that "highlights the many events and activities of the university that help develop the leadership skills of students, faculty, staff and community members... Each month will focus on a single characteristic of leadership, including commitment to personal growth, listening, empathy, awareness, healing, foresight, conceptualization, stewardship, persuasion and building community." In a nutshell, it means our school is bringing in many, many speakers and activities to try and... well, get us engaged in leadership.

The joke's on MSU, though, because I had already planned on spending this year in "engaged leadership." No, that does not mean I'll be attempting a "ring-by-spring" ploy, despite the fact that I recently received a four page text message describing how to catch a boyfriend (which was quite hilarious, but still). Instead, it means that I've spent a lot of time in the last month (month!) of school trying to pour out my heart to my fellow Bobcats. It's been good. Exhausting, but good. I've learned a lot, though.

First of all, I am most definitely an introvert. There are many, many times in life where I recognize just how introverted I am, but sometimes it still surprises me. Transitioning to dorm life once again is challenging. I love the community that's fostered here. I love that it often takes me twenty minutes to make a trip to the bathroom because I get sidetracked at all the open doors. I love eating dinner with fifteen friends and just being a two minute walk away from movie nights and coffee dates in the SUB and study sessions in the library. I absolutely love my roommate and how much she puts up with me- with my inability to pour water out of our tea kettle without spilling, with my habit of just throwing all of my clothing/school books/other possessions all over the floor, with my crazy work schedule and my tendency to be noisy when I come in at four in the morning. However, so many of the components that make dorm life something I love also make it so challenging to my little introvert heart. It's practically impossible to get space here- personal space, space to think, space away from people and school and everything else that's wrapped up in college community. I understand with sudden clarity now why so many pastors I know don't like the idea of a parsonage. I like space. I miss it. It's something that I can most definitely sacrifice during this stint in Bozeman, but it means I have to be much more intentional in cultivating time "away."

Sacrifice is something else I've learned more about. I'm busy here. I have work, school, IV, meetings, coffee dates, church, and lots of chances to try and form relationships with the people around me. I most definitely want to prioritize others, which is time consuming. Sometimes it means that I don't spend as much time on my schoolwork as I want to (though everything's still getting done, Mom). Oftentimes it means that my time, space, wants, and desires are put aside for someone else's. And while that's frequently hard for my selfish little heart, it's worth it.

Because here's the thing: I've learned so much more about the joy that comes when I get to see God working-whether through me, my friends, or other people on campus. I've learned of the excitement that comes when, after all my incessant phone calls (which, for those of you who know how much I like to talk on the phone [not at all], is a big deal), text messages, and awkward conversations in doorways, someone actually says yes to an invitation. I've had moments where I'm literally jumping because of how many people showed up at Bible study. I want to dance when I listen to people talk about how they're finding new community and diving into their faith in different, deeper ways. I look at our dinner table and see new faces, new stories, new jokes, and I smile. God is good.

It's those moments that make ministry worth it. It's those people who make ministry worth it. Yes, it may take months to get someone plugged in. They may never get plugged in- but if there's even a tiny, tiny little chance, I'm going to cling to it and let God use it.

My devotional the other day was going through 2 Corinthians 5. I'm always struck by verse 20a: "We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us." That's huge. Huge, and slightly daunting. I want to represent Him well here. I want to know Him well here, wherever it is that here may be- in Hapner, in class, at InterVarsity, at church, in Bozeman, in Wenatchee, or wherever else God puts me on this pretty planet. Life's not about me, and I'm excited about that.

I think what I've found more than anything is that as I try to engage my heart and my life with others, Jesus just engages my heart more with his. And that, friends, is a beautiful thing.



This is what community looks like. (Sorry that it's blurry; I stole it from a friend off Facebook.)

Sure, we'll do some tailgating outreach--oh, and end up on the front page of the Bozeman chronicle!

At InterVarsity's Fall Conference! I love the great women I  get to know here.

My roommate and I take our New Student Outreach snowball fights very seriously. We were there to win, guys.

Look! After six weeks of working, it's finally official- I have a name tag and everything!

Comments

  1. Hi Mackenzie! Great blog, it's really nice to read about all the things you do here at MSU (including putting up with irritating international students :P). Hope to see you again soon and continue our social gatherings (even though our schoolwork suffers haha)! lots of love, Querine

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    Replies
    1. International students are definitely not irritating, Querine! I'm really glad that I've gotten to know you this year, and I look forward to getting to know you better!

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